Digital Halloween OR The Laptop That Ate My Brain

When I heard that the Northwest Airlines pilots who overflew Minneapolis were deep in a huddle over their laptops, I predicted tangential fallout among the Luddite-leaning.

The pilots, Richard Cole and Timothy Cheney, still swear that it was not a nap, nor a brokeback moment (quite a dirty mind you've got there) that kept them from seeing that they'd overflown their target by 150 miles.

I fretted that people who already believe computers will be the ruination of Everything will see in the pilots' story even more proof that zombie computers will eat your mind.

The scared-to-go-online will be ready to move into their basements, I worried, and the Deeply Faithful will see Satan in every hashtag.

(Not to worry...I'm not talkin' 'bout you, Sweetie. If you're reading a blog you're ahead of the curve. Just 1/3 of Net users -- which is only a quarter of all adults --say they read blogs, and just 11% say they do it every day.)

Sounds crazy? Self-help psychiatrist and Fox News contributor Dr. Keith Ablow believes in zombies. According to him:

"The amazing undertow of new technology is indeed powerful enough not only to distract many of us, but to pull us completely off-course in our lives."

Doesn't that sound like the start of some spooky movie where the computers take over? Shall we play a game like thermonuclear war?

Read the sentence again and replace "new technology" with "radio" or "television."

It's not apples and oranges to me.

My grandmother worried that she got so caught up listening to Guiding Light on the radio (as she did from its premiere in 1937 until it moved to TV) that she frequently forgot whatever was bubbling on the stove. Years passed and her own passion for daytime dramas was not as bad, in her opinion, as her daughter who seemed to "always" be watching something on "that TV" to the detriment of her family.

I guess I'm just saying that we all know that people can use a computer to go deeper into dangerous activities than they might if left to their own devices. Gambling. Porn. It's there at your fingertips. Heck, just an innocent Facebook junkie can look up and find a couple of hours have ticked by.

But, isn't blaming the computer for deviant behavior sorta like the reason we had Prohibition? Babies flying into the trash with bathwater, and all that?

Try Keepmeout. Enter the name of the website, social network, or whatever has you selling your mama's jewelry to buy more Net minutes. Keepmeout will stop you from visiting the site within the period of time you select.

If all else fails, the Goddess has the answer.

Step One, set a timer before going online.

Step Two, turn off your browser when the bell rings. If you can't stop, you have a problem. Seek help. If there really are zombies, only you can kill them.