What Will It Take to Save Magazines? Rihanna's Boobs Aren't Enough.

No need for the Goddess to prattle on about the end of the Digital Decade that changed, um, everything. That newsbit is in every Top 10 countdown worth a darn. If tomorrow is the end of the digital decade, what else is it the end of?

I think of sad little Gourmet magazine, 1941-2009, to put a face on the evolution of mag media. Identified by publisher Condé Nast as the weakest link, Gourmet went poof! with the November issue. Parenting mag Cookie, Elegant Bride and Modern Bride also bit the dust, but with much less fanfare.

Condé Nast CEO Chuck Townsend told CNN in an email that the changes were made "to navigate the company through the economic downturn and to position us to take advantage of coming opportunities."

Good spin begins with a gram of truth, kiddies. Remember that.

Mr. Townsend states honestly that the shuttering of 4 magazines will help CN through the economic downturn. Radio legend Paul Harvey would join me in telling "the rest of the story":

Fat magazines that rely on sizzlingly fantastic color photography and advertisers who think there's no better outlet to reach gourmands and brides-to-be were moved into the hospice unit years ago.

To put it another way, Gourmet had almost 1 million subscribers and it still died.

NOTE: Gourmet.com is still accessible with a nice 'thank you' to supporters that directs anyone wanting to buy past issues to the online Condé Nast store. The most expensive item there? "Gourmet Magazine:The Final Year Collection." Tacky.

Earlier today I was part of a fairly deep discussion about whether smokin' hot, 21-year-old Rihanna made a good career move by posing topless in the January 2010 issue of GQ. The most thought-provoking comment -- to me, anyway -- was this comment by a gay friend:

"I haven't bought a GQ since they started putting women on the cover. And without gay men, that mag would fold tomorow. It's a man's magazine! I mean, Vogue doesn't put men on its cover. Why? Because it's for women!"

OK, first, this is America. Hetero men will buy almost anything if there's big boobs involved in any way, shape or form. It's a rule. It may even be in the Constitution.

Second, as a straight female, the Goddess admits to not giving a heck of a lot of thought about the sexual preferences of magazine readers. Surprisingly enough, there are people who think about exactly that.

2006 was the first year that Experian Simmons (then called Simmons Market Research Bureau) asked media consumers about their sexual orientation. DNR, a now defunct men's mag formerly published by, you guessed it, Condé Nast, publicized the study's results. Gawker summed it up best: "GQ is the gayest magazine ever."

GQ reported 10.39% of male readers being gay or bisexual; EW (Entertainment Weekly) was a close second.

Who knew?

Well, I guess GQ knew because recent covers have alternated from Clint Eastwood to an unbuttoned January Jones and a bikini-clad Olivia Wilde. The most universally appealing cover may have been in September 2009. Michael Jackson offered a little something for everyone.

This Blog Post Is My Christmas Card. Enjoy.

Life shouldn't be lived on a tit-for-tat basis, and yet it often is. If you're invited to a friend's home for dinner, you'll probably reciprocate and act as host soon after. One good turn deserves another and all that. And when Sara gives you a Happy 35! present and you don't even send her a birthday text, no matter what she says to your face, Sara is not thinking good thoughts about you.

The tradition of sending Christmas cards has long rated that type of "you do me-I do you" record-keeping. There are books designed just for people to track who sent them a holiday card, so they'll know who's earned one in return. (Now it's just as easy to print your own register sheets from a site like Organized Christmas.)

So what will my decision to abandon the practice of sending cards communicate to my friends?

I'm very sad about it, mainly because I was always the type of holiday nut that actually enjoyed sending cards every December. For many years, HubbyMine and I followed our own little tradition every year on the day after Thanksgiving, shopping for cards at a locally owned card store known for lovely, funny and dirty cards as well as small creative gifts.

(Clevelanders: A moment of silence, please, for the old Clifton Web store in Lakewood. It's moved to Avon Lake with a new focus on antiques and more grown-up pleasures.)

The move of a mere card store didn't stop me, of course. I found other resources, some online, and continued sending what I thought were the cutest cards of any given year. I polished 'em off with adorable customized holiday return address labels I made at VistaPrint.com.

So, what happened?

Life got in the way.

Beyond the client-related work that can pop up when you least expect it, a rather massive re-organization of my office set-up is taking far more than the single weekend I'd allotted to it. I'm excited about a very promising relationship I'm starting with a virtual assistant, but that requires me to send a flow of information her way, and that takes time, too. (Don'tcha just hate it when things designed to make your life easier make it harder first?)

To continue my whining, I also found room on my "plate" for HubbyMine's Christmas Week birthday. Buying and wrapping presents. Preparations for Christmas Eve dinner and decorating. Unexpected civic commitments. This blog.

Something had to go, and I chose Christmas cards. The Postal Service has reported an 11% decrease of first-class cancellations from last year during the first 2 weeks of December. The Internet and 44-cent stamps may have had something to do with that. I'd like to say I'm among the many who've switched to e-cards, but honestly? I ain't even doing that.

Even a Goddess can get, well, overwhelmed.

So this is the forum where I'll send sincere wishes for a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my old friends, new friends, and the kazillion who live in my computer. May 2010 be the magical year we hope it will be. May we each notice AND appreciate the moments of good health and happiness that balance out all the rest.

P.S. Much love for Cleveland's own American Greetings which designed the 2009 White House Christmas card shown above. Please note, Michelle Obama has help doing her cards.

Use the Force, Luke. Go Online.

With all respect to Family Circus cartoonist Bil Keane, the Goddess is frustrated because Twitter, Facebook and other social media and networking sites still make the majority of businesspeople, especially those 45 and older, giggle. It ain't easy being an early adopter, especially one whose profession hinges on getting others to join her on the digital bandwagon.

Lately I've talked with several people in different industries and geographies who have common complaints about their communications challenges. In every freakin' example, they continue using the tactics and tools they've always used, and they're getting the same poor results.

It might anger these folks if I were to remind them of the definition of insanity, but since they have no interest in thinking outside of their non-digital boxes (or hiring me to help them do so), I guess I might as well.

Quick example: A friend was very upset that none of her many cookbooks included a recipe for rum cake. When I told her to go online, she looked at me like I was crazy. Until she found exactly what she was looking for in about 45 seconds.

Things will change. I'm just impatient. Everyone's not going to get as passionate as I do about all things Web 2.0, but I do want them to get more accepting.

NY Times columnist Thomas Friedman says we're living in a "do-it-yourself economy", which is as good a way as any to describe why I encourage organizations and individuals to blend online and old-school strategies together.

Mr. Friedman found a Minneapolis marketing agency that created a client's film for 20% of the normal cost thanks to Internet services that probably weren't available even 3 years ago. First, the agency and the client communicated almost exclusively by email, sharing documents via box.net.

(Remember what we've learned about cloud computing, kiddies. Put your files, videos, whatever "up there" where anyone can access them, and then there's no worries about files too large to mail. My Mac peeps use MobileMe -- its logo is a cloud. )

The agency in Minneapolis used voices.com for its voiceover needs, paying about 10% of what local voice talent would have charged. And, Goddess-approved istockphoto.com provided good quality images with no royalty fees.

So how 'bout you? Are you sitting inside a circa 1999 box, or are you giving a Flip camera and a creative assignment to employees or grantees and posting their vids on your website or Vimeo? Will you even consider Twitter or Facebook to spread the word about a special project in 2010?

If you can't afford a web developer, have you tried Weebly or Squidoo or other apps where even the newest of newbies can create their own sites? Heck, with Ning you can even build your own social network.

Arrange a free conference call. Easily sell T-shirts and mousepads that you designed yourself. Take a poll. It's all online.

Of course, I'd love it if you'd hire me to help you find new solutions to old problems, but I do understand if you'd rather climb out of your musty old communications box by yourself. I'll even cheer you on.

A Goddess-Approved Princess and Frog

Major motion pictures, as they call 'em, often open in "select cities" weeks before opening nationwide. I live in Ohio and unless there's a presidential election going on, I get dissed. Recently it was Precious, that made it to Cleveland only after appearing in New York, Atlanta, Philadelphia, et al.

And so I am so happy to report that WCG and I were pleased to be able to help make The Princess & the Frog #1 on its opening weekend. We give our distinctly different generational blessings and recommend it highly to...

well...

to absolutely everyone.

As for the hand-drawn animation, you certainly don't need to be a graphics art student to know the difference. Any Bugs Bunny fan can tell the difference between old-school backdrops where walls were made of detailed, shaded bricks and lawns included blades of grass, not just an expanse of green.

There was a scene in Princess & the Frog -- a wide shot of the Louisiana bayou covered with mist and moss in a soft rain. It is stunningly beautiful.

And yes, Tiana is a frog for quite a while, but we all have bad days before the sun comes back out, right?

A Princess. A Frog. No Pressure, Right?

Just one more day before I go with the World's Cutest Goddaughter (WCG to friends) to see Disney's The Princess & the Frog on opening day. WCG would have preferred to attend a midnight premiere. She's 19. I think she's got it confused with New Moon. (See a trailer for the flick here; Disney won't let me embed it.)

I know that I'm among what's apparently quite a crowd of black women in their 40s and up who are hyperventilating over the film. I want to see it because I'm a cartoon nut, which de facto means I love old-school Disney animation. The Princess & the Frog is the studio's first hand-drawn animated offering in 5 years.

Not falling for it, eh? It's true. I do like cartoons. But oh boy oh boy do I want to see a black Disney princess with my own eyes.

There's already a Chinese princess (Mulan), a native American princess (Pocahontas) and a Middle Eastern princess (Jasmine). I'm a little antsy, OK?

Oprah and Mocha Moms have deemed The Princess & the Frog "OK" in that annoying way that implies black folks always need some kind of racial imprimatur on stuff. As for me, I'll wait till I see the movie before I speak on any of the mini-controversies buzzing around it.

For example, apparently Tiana's prince isn't black; he's certainly not as dark as Tiana. (Prince Naveen's first name is Indian, he's from a fictional country and he's voiced by a Brazilian actor. You figure it out.)

Basic plotline: There's a girl and a guy in 1920s New Orleans. They become frogs. Tiana spends much of the movie as a frog before she becomes a princess and he becomes a prince.

All I know is that when it comes to communicating a message, the appearance of Princess Tiana in Disney's princess machine is big, I tell you. Huge.

We're all aware that today's first graders will grow up to shrug their shoulders at the thought that an African American president is any big deal. At a molecular level, they will be changed by Princess Tiana, too.

I was 4 when Sleeping Beauty was released and I loved Princess Aurora and her little fairy godmothers, too. (Flora, Fauna and Meriweather. You didn't think I knew their names, did you?) Aurora had beautiful blond hair that was fun to color.

Here's my Kumbaya vision today: a floor covered with little white girls happily sharing crayons over their Princess Tiara coloring books.

What shade of brown is she? Does it matter? What color is Prince Naveen? And I'm sorry, but when they're frogs, aren't they both green?

And if like me, you'd heard stories of Walt Disney being a raging racist and anti-Semite, you'll be pleased with this really insightful piece by Neal Gabler, author of Walt Disney: The Triumph of the American Imagination. Apparently the rumors were untrue, though Walt did use the same racial slurs that were common in his day.

Bottom line? Little girls of all colors will want a Princess Tiana doll and sheets and all the rest. They will want to be her, just like they wanted to be Snow White and Mulan and Aurora and Pocahontas and Cinderella and Ariel and Jasmine and Belle. It's not about race. It's all about the tiara.

On Madison Ave, Web 2.0 Is All About Mom

Back in July, the Goddess presented Social Media WannaBe Awards that recognized ads creatively making reference to social media. Let's simply call today's honors "Mad Ads:Web 2.0." These pitches aren't selling computers or mobile phones, but Web 2.0 is a key part of the seller's message.

Only 2 winners today, and both have created messaging involving Moms. Ah, the holidays.

Our first winner is Lowe's. Mom totes her laptop around the house to show her daughter --via webcam-- all the Christmasing going on. I love that Mom is clearly over 40, too.


Winner #2 and still champeen: Kleenex. Perhaps you've seen the TV spot but ignored the pitch for the website. The spot is nothing. The website is all. And hilarious.

Kleexex "Get Mommed" campaign offers 8 virtual moms (including 1 Black, 1 Hispanic and 1 Asian, if you're tracking). The actresses embody standard archetypes: arts & crafts & cookie-baking Mom; wound-too-tight prim & proper Mom; you can do no wrong Mom...you get the idea. They've each obviously been trained to make repeated arm and hand motions to reinforce the 3D effect of walking to "talk directly to me".

If you can't figure out which type of Mom you want, the program will pick one for you from your answers to a short quiz. For me, it chose Magnolia, a sweet woman who says she's a Southern girl and thinks I'm as "cute as a speckled puppy."

Kleenex's Moms evolved from fears about the H1N1 virus. Who do you want around when you're sick or scared? Your mommy!

AdAge reports that 30 days after the campaign kicked off in September, responses were already 300% above the company's expectations. Subtract a few nastygrams, and most comments to the website, on Twitter and the Moms' Facebook page have been positive. Who's surprised that "Best Friend Mom" is one of the most popular?

Once you register at the site, your Mom will send you e-mail, texts, phone audio or Facebook messages. You select whether Mom's notes are motivational or offering advice or just telling you to wear boots because it's going to rain.

You might remember Kleenex's previous outta-da-box campaign where people sat on a couch in the middle of the sidewalk and told personal stories that made them cry...and use a Kleenex.

This campaign's better. You can make your Mom stop talking just by clicking on"Mute".

Lessons Abound from Tiger, Desiree and More

Catching up...

The World AIDS Day event was the best! More than 150 Ohioans of all ages testified to Chris Bates from U.S. Health and Human Services with their ideas, experiences, requests and suggestions to improve care for those in the HIV/AIDS spectrum and beyond. They were there from across the state.

I tweeted my little heart out, reporting the gathering to the Twitterverse using hashtag #HIVAIDSOH. It was the first real test for my little netbook and mobile broadband plug-in. (I couldn't have done it without HubbyMine who figured out how to set up the plug-in. I'd given up and was heading for the Verizon store to beg for help.)

I met a lot of people on Twitter who had no idea what a hashtag is, and it reminded me how hard it is to really "get" Twitter.

But now I can pay more attention to what was background noise: the White House crashers and Tiger Woods ...two back-to-freakin'-back examples of egos not listening to the best PR advice on the globe. Not that high-priced talent is needed when we're talking about core public communications principles that these players should know by now.

For instance, never, ever, stonewall when an early fall on a little sword will do. White House Social Queen Desiree Rogers (at right, on her way to the party she should have been attending only as a worker-bee) should have gone to Congress for a little chastising.

The problem, I fear, is that Ms. Rogers is used to being catered to as though she is the only lady in the room. These days, Michelle Obama is the Lady that matters, and Desiree just ain't going softly into an understudy's good-night.

And surely the branding pros told Tiger that when you send a photo of your adorable family to People magazine and acknowledge being the highest-earning athlete on the planet, the public will want to know how things are going, ya know?

NY Times columnist Maureen Dowd wrote that like many famous men, Tiger neglected to be on guard when dating sexy girls who already have a pile of 8x10 glossies of themselves in hopes of being "discovered". LOL. I'll bet Tiger was stunned to discover that his ladyfriends not only saved his voicemail messages; they sold 'em.

The truly stunning news for the public, I think, was that golf has the same type of groupies, wild sex parties, illegal drug use and partying till dawn that thrives in the NFL, NBA and MLB. Gives foursome a new meaning, fer sure.

All this while the Goddess is all over the net, and northeast Ohio, too, trying to find bargains on gifts for friends and fam. Life is complicated only the teensiest of bits by the holiday birthday of HubbyMine. Extra gifts, I can handle. It's remembering to have birthday wrapping paper on hand that I tend to forget.

I have to thank a Twitterfriend, @writetechnology, for turning me on to mittens with detachable thumb-flaps for easy texting in the cold. What are they called? Why, mittenberries, of course!