2010 Techie Slang: There's More to Learn Than" iPad"

We're just 35 days into 2010 and I keep running into terms that aren't just new to me; they're opaque.

Most of my new vocab words refer to the Net. I'm not saying that each of these words is brand-spankin' new to the planet, only to me. I figured I'd share them with you because, well, isn't that what a Communications Goddess is supposed to do? Aren't any of them new to you, too?

mi-fi: A friend on Twitter wrote about her new "mifi" (no hyphen), and there's an earlier post about my determined search, with pursed lips and narrowed eyes, to figure out what the heck it was.

I learned that mi-fi is your own little "hot spot", a place where more than one computer (generally no more than 5) is able to latch on to the Net at the same time. Verizon and Sprint offer mi-fi services -- there's more out there, I'm sure.

paywall: This term started popping into my line of vision after The NY Times announced that next year its website will charge a flat fee for unlimited access (a certain number of articles will be free each month). Basically, it's self-defining. You visit a website, you click and you click and suddenly a box pops up stopping you from surfing anymore until you cough up some green. You hit a wall, and you darn well are gonna pay to get around it.

epic fail: I think this is the one that let me know whatever coolness I had has either left me completely or just reformatted to fit a different criteria. In my defense, there's not a tween nor a twenty-something in my household to keep me even vaguely aware of the latest slang.. I have The Daily Show for remedial study.

Meanwhile, my collegiate goddaughter and her brother helped me see that when something goes toilet paper-stuck-to-your-shoe wrong, it is epic fail. Really bad clothing choices -- think female guests on The Jerry Springer Show -- can be epic fail, too.

podiobook: Serialized audiobooks (Ah, ah, ah. You weren't about to translate "audiobooks" into "books on tape", were you? Are there really any of those left?)

Let's try again.

Serialized audiobooks are presented in podcast format with subscribers downloading a new chapter each week. I'm told that mysteries and science-fiction do particularly well as podiobooks. Podiobooks.com is a major resource, and I believe that once a book is completed, the site acts as a repository of the whole thing. Books are free, though donations are gratefully accepted. Authors provide their material to the site free of charge in hopes of building audience, getting feedback or just for fun.

hot key: I can't believe I hadn't heard this one before. It's simply another way to say "keyboard shortcut." PC users will recognize Alt +Cont + Delete to end a program; a Mac user has a difference combination to Force Quit. Each of those is a hot key.

Finally, my favorite new word. It's one you think you know.

Britney: As in Spears. In the new usage, Britney is an adjective. Can I use it in a sentence? Sure.

"Don't go all Britney on me just because your boyfriend broke up with you."

[Hey Anonymous! Thanks for the grammar check!]

Who'll Tell Pat Robertson There's a Catholic Archbishop Behind "The 700 Club"?

Today President Obama held a Q&A with America on YouTube. Was it really just 6 years ago when we were amazed that presidential candidate Howard Dean could actually use the Internet to connect with college students?

We are marching, sometimes reluctantly, toward another shift in the definition of Normal. Normal for every home in America used to include a kitchen wall phone with a formerly curly cord stretched beyond all recognition. I bet your definition of Normal now has a cordless phone in it, or a mobile phone, or maybe both. In my new Normal, soon I won't have a standard telephone on my desk at all. (Geez - that blew my mind just to type the words.)

Technology, slang, social mores...we zig when society zags. The smart ones among us figure out how to do it sooner, and better, instead of fighting the change that is surely going to occur. It helps when our leaders, however you define that word, are early adopters we can believe in. Sadly, President Obama's continual use of social media fuels arguments against him by people who are challenged to e-mail.

It makes me wonder if FDR got flack for speaking on the radio instead of crisscrossing the country. Knowing human behavior as I do, I'm guessing somebody in the land of fruited plains used the Fireside Chats as ammunition. Pity.

Much like the stories of early Native Americans refusing to pose for photographs they feared would steal their souls, it doesn't surprise me that there are always those who see evil in technology. I'm just glad that for every naysayer there's an innovator like, say, Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. Ever heard of him?

For 2 decades, 1930 to 1950, Sheen hosted an evening radio show, The Catholic Hour. He followed that with two television programs, Life is Worth Living (1951-57) and the syndicated The Fulton Sheen Program (1961-68).

That's where I come in, a little Goddess-in-training sitting on the floor in front of a large black-and-white TV set. I remember Archbishop Sheen because he scared me to death. I thought he looked mean, and the capelet he wore did little to stop me from thinking that he looked like Christopher Lee playing Dracula.

Truth is, Archbishop Sheen deserves to be recognized as one of the first televangelists, scary or not. The timeline of his broadcasting career echoes that of another committed man of faith, Rev. Billy Graham.

Rev. Graham started his phenomenally popular radio show, Hour of Decision, in 1950. It's still on the air.

He had his own show on ABC-TV from 1951 to 1954, but it was the televised broadcasts of the Billy Graham Crusades every year from 1957 to 1995 that reinforced what we would now call the Billy Graham brand. Every year, back-to-back nights of network Prime Time (in the days when it rated initial caps) were turned over to a man shouting the Gospel in huge stadiums full of people.

Both men used the technology of their times to bring the word of their faith to millions. That pulpit must have felt pretty hot in the beginning, but look at the multi-faceted televangelist universe that followed.

Do you doubt for a minute that both Sheen and Graham would be online now? I don't. In fact, you can listen to the Hour of Decision online or download an MP3 of the Archbishop's programs.

It's all a nice history lesson, but there's more. Archbishop Sheen is being considered for sainthood (apparently there may be a miracle or 2 in his resume). If canonized, he will be the first saint with an Emmy. Now that's communications history!

CBS & the SuperBowl's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell and Don't Prance' Policy

Have you been paying attention to the sex-fueled drama behind SuperBowl 2010? It's not as flashy as Justin Timberlake exposing Janet Jackson's embellished boob, and so not many folks are talking about it. Nevertheless, communicators know it is more significant.

SuperBowl host CBS changed its policy on advocacy ads. They weren't OK. Now they are. They're a lucrative lot, too, but we're not supposed to talk about that.

First, CBS approved an anti-abortion spot featuring Florida QB Tim Tebow. The ad's subject has sparked buzz, of course, but because the ad's sponsor is the conservative organization Focus on the Family, there's also mutterings about politics creeping into what was trying to be a spin-free zone.

(The ad hasn't been released; it features Tebow's mother Pam recalling her decision to continue her high-risk pregnancy against medical advice.)

So, CBS opened a door and invited a little controversy.

Next, CBS closed some doors and invited a small hellstorm.

The loudest clamor surrounds the rejection of ManCrunch.com, a gay dating site. The spot is pretty funny, but it shows 2 men kissing, and we certainly can't have that during America's salute to testosterone, can we? CBS says they thought it was a publicity stunt; ManCrunch says it offered $2.6M. Here's what you won't see on CBS next Sunday:

And then there's always bold GoDaddy.com. Their gay-themed ad was turned down, too. Nobody's kissing, but the storyline stars a big black ex-pro footballer named Lola who channels Liberace.

Charges of homophobia and unfairness hurled at the network come full circle in the eyes of the United Church of Christ (UCC). In 2004, the church hoped that a Super Bowl spot be the perfect spot to tell the world about its welcoming atmosphere. CBS found the ad's tone unacceptable, in part because of a shot of a gay couple might be taken as an endorsement of gay marriage.

Now that the network's advocacy rules have changed, the church is still pretty steamed at CBS' cowardly stance. UCC Director of Communications summed it up well:

"There is a common misunderstanding in this country that all religious people hold a monolithic view on certain issues, such as reproductive choice or same-geneder marriage equality, but that is not the case."

I believe the people the network really doesn't want to offend with scenes of man-on-man love is the NFL itself. Duh.

And as for the UCC, CBS is nuts. This is the best spot ever.

Don't Know Anyone on Twitter? Head for the Nearest Police Department

Remember way back when e-mail was something that only people with certain types of jobs had? Why do so many people doubt that it won't be long before we wistfully think that way about social media, too?

I'm not saying that absolutely everyone will tweet, or that everyone will have a sweet page on Facebook. Heck, Twitter and Facebook may die tomorrow for all I know. Not bloody likely, but if they do, the socialized Internet will live on: keyboard communities sharing lives, opinions and breaking news.

I don't need stats to tell me that society has moved another tick toward true acceptance of the little blue Twitterbird. I have cops. (lower case = officers of the law in general; COPS upper case and you hear deep voices singing {bad boys-bad boys})

In Boston, there's a mini-COPS episode on Twitter whenever police describe their workday. Last May, this tweet went out:

"INJURED OFFICER: Officer from district 4 transported to Beth Israel Hospital, human bite to arm, suspect in custody."

Anyone familiar with Twitter will tell you that a good sense of humor is an majorly good thing to have. @willcady certainly did: she asked @Boston_Police:

"If that was a zombie bite, would you tell us?"

A gold star to the officer who replied, "Yes, absolutely." (That is not him above. I chose a pic with the stock photo data in place so that everyone would understand no police were harmed in production of this blog.

An idea I really love is Boston's Stolen Bikes Initiative that uses Facebook, Twitter and e-mail to alert bike and pawn shops and everyone else to keep an eye out for missing wheels. Doesn't that seem as though it would be an easy model to replicate?

A little more research and I learned that police in Vancouver, Canada supplement the basics with a blog, Behind the Blue Line, and a very well done YouTube channel. In Boca Raton, FL, officers don't use Twitter to simply announce traffic hazards and crime reports. They also share crime prevention and safety tips and use their FB page for 2-way discussion with the folks they've sworn to protect and serve. Boca Raton gets it.

Daily Splice also reported that the Boca Raton PD "also uses Nixle to provide immediate information via text or e-mail during an emergency situation. I hadn't heard of Nixle, and went to check it out. It launched in 2009 and 3,000+ public safety and community agencies have registered to use it in their locales. Registration for both agencies and consumers is free. (My city's PD hasn't signed up for it yet -- has yours?)

Anyway, my final ta-da is to reveal that while you were playing Mafia Wars, the FBI was refining its Facebook page. Not only that, but you can help catch a crook by dropping a widget of the 10 Most Wanted or Bureau videos into your website or blog.
It's the F. B. I., y'all. What more do you need to believe that maybe, just maybe, there's some value in this social media stuff?

How I Learned to Use Social Media and Stay [Somewhat] Sane

Call Dr. Phil...the Goddess is in a confessin' mood. You can learn from another's pain [see: Clinton/Lewinsky], so pull up a chair.

We all know that maintenance of an online social persona takes a nice hunk of time. From stolen quick-checks during work hours to entire Sunday afternoons, we give up other pursuits, or pretend that we are multi-tasking, in order to be online.

The first commitment of precious clock ticks is mandatory and basically self-managed: the small task of teaching oneself the ins and outs of a program. This assignment cannot be completed until one has conquered the visceral fear of clicking on the "wrong" button. [tick-tock] Attract some friends or followers and start having some fun. Soon you'll know what it is to be "lost" in cyberspace. [tick-tock-tick-tock]

What next? Why, "Rinse and repeat" as Rachael Maddow says.

Apply that process to the next app you want to use, and then the one after that. Twitter. Facebook. Flickr. Digg. Delicious. The list goes on. Unfortunately for time management, even if all you want is a trial run, it'll still require an investment of several hours.

(That's not necessarily a bad thing; the Goddess is still cheerleading for social media. But when you fall asleep at work because you couldn't stop watching the comments on #Haiti after midnight, don't say you weren't warned.

If there were never again to be a new Internet website to be learned and experienced and pronounced the newest/hottest/bestest ever, well, even in that perfect scenario, the hamster is already on the wheel. In other words, it takes a lot of time just to run fast enough to stay in the same place, AKA a vibrant online presence.

But -- and this is the part nobody tells you -- the programs don't stay the same. They have the audacity to change.

Take Facebook. Believe me, there are people who know FB like Zuckerberg's clone, and they were not happy to find yet another privacy option or resized photo albums. Updated apps make the hamster run faster, and then he approaches cardiac overload.

Nevertheless, bring the little rodent into the real world. He'll stroke out on a dozen new cool websites and programs every single day.

Yes, the Goddess has compared herself to a sweaty, fixated rodent with his little beady eyes on a prize. You'd understand if you'd seen me trying to figure out Twitter months ago, or Evernote or Creative Commons now. Besides, the pic shown here is of a USB toy that plugs into your computer. The faster you type, the faster the hamster runs. Hilarious.

A perpetual chase of mastery over the twinkly, shiny, ever-morphing Internet is stupid. I admit here and now that I am but a mere fruit fly in the galactical scope of the Net. If I pretended to be anything more, I would surely go crazy.

And just in case I don't know my place, the Net will smack me down. Here's a tweet I saw today from a very tech saavy woman in Kentucky:

"Busting out the palm pre plus to use as a mifi. So cool!"

What the hell is a mifi? I sent a tweet to ask her but got no immediate response. So I went to Google. Nothing. Netlingo -- no luck. I actually let several hours go by and then tried a 4th time. Bingo. mifi = mobile broadband for multiple computers.

So do I feel better now that I know? Actually, I do.

A Communications Lesson from Courtney Love? Seriously?

If you're still learning the details of Twitter, you might think that your little tweet is going to be lost in a vast global network. After all, you only have 15 followers. Who's gonna pay attention to what you have to say?

Wrong kind of thinking, my friend. Rule 1 of today's Internet is to redefine community. It's not only the people down the street who you can see; it's the cities in your keyboard.

Rule 2 is that everyone in the new community, each and all of us, are rockstars. The bee's knees. We are published authors and copywriters, efficient (or not) editors, creative videographers and photographers. We are responsible for both breaking news reports and distinctive analysis.

We are energized and radicalized by the social Web, holding our laptops aloft like Sally Field in Norma Rae.

In hip-hop vernacular, we are the shit.

Many organizations -- smart ones -- use programs like SocialOomph to monitor the twittersphere for any mention of their products or business. Overwhelmed small business owners are always happy to hear that they don't have to actually use Twitter to find out what's being said about them. Set whatever keyword you desire and wait for alerts to arrive in your email inbox.

That's certainly what happened to Amanda Bonnen, the Chicago woman who sent this message via Twitter last spring:

"You should just come anyway. Who said sleeping in a moldy apartment was bad for you? Horizon Realty thinks it's okay".

By July she was in court being sued by Horizon Realty for $50,000 and libel charges. There's a lot more to the drama (isn't there always?), but just this week the judge dismissed the case. He ruled that the tweet was too "vague" to meet legal standards of libel.

That wasn't the case for Courtney Love. Yes, THAT Courtney Love.

The Mistress of Decorum sent a tweet referring to designer Dawn Simorangkir, AKA Boudoir Queen (I can't make up stuff this good, folks) as a "nasty lying hosebag thief". Oh yeah, Courtney also accused her -- via tweet-- of being a drug addict and a prostitute.

Stay tuned -- this case is sure to generate some news because it may set precedent as the law takes another baby step to keep up with technology. Meanwhile, watch what you tweet...if you don't, someone else will.

Confused About Social Networking for Business? Watch Pepsi.

Surprisingly enough, SuperBowl 2010 is shaping up to mean something to me this year. Not the game itself -- us Browns fans are forever clinically depressed. It's Pepsi's decision to pull its ads in favor of a new social networking campaign that's floating my boat. The last time there was a Pepsi-less Super Bowl, 23 years ago, Denver's QB was John Elway (boo-hiss) and he lost to the NY Giants' Phil Simms.

It's important to note that I referred to Pepsi's new campaign as social networking because while it's all about the Pepsi, this time it's all about community, too. In other words, marketing isn't the goal, it's the outcome.

Pepsi's new RefreshEverything.com website launched on Jan. 13 to find "people, businesses, and non-profits with ideas that will have a positive impact. Look around your community and think about how you want to change it."

1,000 ideas will be accepted each month, and then a public vote determines who gets funding from Pepsi to bring their community improvement idea to life.

"Our beverage brands' marketing strategy in 2010 [is] less about a singular event and more about a movement. We are always looking to further develop our two-way conversation with consumers,"PepsiCo spokesperson Nicole Bradley told DM News.

Yep. Pepsi has always been about starting a movement and its decision to go "social" makes all the sense in the world:

1. Pepsi's entire brand is about youth.

2. Young people want to change the world and make it better. It's a sweeping generalization, I know, but you know it feels true, and thank God it does.

3. Social media connects and empowers people.

1+2+3 = a big win for Pepsi who clearly thought this through, designing RefreshEverything to reflect all of those truths. Pepsi as Product is in the background, present but not so much. This is about world-changing, remember?

Good time to segue to The Real World. Associated Press says Pepsi spent $33M pushing Pepsi, Gatorade & Cheetos during SuperBowl 2009. This year, just $20M will be focused on the Refresh Project.

Mind you, Pepsi already had its own YouTube channel and was deep into Twitter and Facebook. Refresh goes so far beyond that -- engaging people in true conversation and then giving them the ability to make a decision that could positively change lives. Social networking and marketing isn't for every company, but it's definitely a good fit for Pepsi and they are doing it very well indeed.